Empty nest

Shanon and I went with Nick to Lawrence University in Appleton last week and we left him there.

It was weird to buy him a one-way plane ticket and it was weird that we stayed in a hotel for two nights and he only stayed there for one night.

The people at Lawrence were as nice as could be and we all pretended it wasn’t weird that we were just going to leave our kid in another state a thousand miles away.

---

The whole vibe at Lawrence for me is just a nice Midwestern nerdy thing, which I think and hope is just what Nick needs. I feel like all the kids his age were just poleaxed by the pandemic and didn’t get to have that experience of gradually growing up and becoming more independent. I feel like Nick and a lot of other 18 year olds are a bit timid, a bit fragile. But I could be projecting.

---

I didn’t take any good pictures in Appleton, so here’s a bad picture.

His room is a single, and Shanon and I worry that he’s going to come home from classes and just shut the door. I guess we worry a lot. He seemed to like it there. He mostly seemed like he was ready for us to leave so he could get on with this next chapter of his life, which I take as a good sign.

---

---

A big part of my job this time of year is talking to CC’s first-year students and showing them how to use the library. I always tell the students that those of us who work in the library do so because we really like working with students and they shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help. This year I also asked the first class I talked to for advice for Nick. “He’s going to college next week, and you all have been here for a week, so you basically have infinitely more experience than he does.” The advice was “remember other people don’t know what’s going on either,” “bring two fans” and “sleep.” Then, later in the session when I asked if they had questions about anything at all, they asked “where is your son going to school?” and “what is your son going to study?” I almost teared up, they were so sweet.

Now that he has moved to Wisconsin, I’m telling those classes I talk to about Nick starting college, and I say “I can’t really give you homework, but your homework today is to call or text or email your dad or your mom or a friend from high school or anyone who is missing you right now.”

---

There was a student crying at a table near my office today.

I said “Hey, I'm Steve and I'm a librarian, and it looks like maybe you are having a rough time?”

She said “Oh, I just had to watch a sad movie for class.” This seemed like maybe not true to me.

So I said, “I see. I have been telling everyone about my son who just went out of state to college, and if he were upset in the library I'd hope someone would ask how he was. Lemme get you some kleenex.” And I did.

And when I came back a few hours later she'd left a note on the kleenex box.

---

Plans for the next few days include crying while watching Kiki’s Delivery Service.